Anime: A Wanderers Guide

"Midway upon the journey of our life
  I found myself within a forest dark,
  For the straightforward pathway had been lost. "
The Divine Comedy - Inferno
Dante Alighieri

Although previously in class i had shown that i much preferred american television to japanese animation im just going to come on out and say that for a while i was addicted. I believe that the onset of this anime addiction has a direct correlation with my increased sloth (I believe you can attest to that academically). But i shall relate to you my downward spiral (and escape) from the Anime world. I shall start at the beginning, in the far reaches of my now distant youth.......9 months ago. It had all started with my increased access to the Internet and increasing disintrest in Video Games (still cant get over it). In my boredom i began to delve into the dark heart of the Internet, where i discovered a complex and terrifying world of 4Chan, Know Your Meme, Reddit, and their various Niche groups like the Whovians (Doctor Who Fans), Trekkies (Star Trek Fans), Star Wars Fans, and of course Weeabo/Otaku culture(Weeabo is a deragatory term for people who love japanese culture). In my travels, With Urban Dictionary as my Vergil I descended into all the circles of the Internets, dicovering wonders like the Bronys (male fans of My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic) and terror like The Furrys (No comment). As I descended further i discovered the thriving Anime culture. Beginning in the early 90's Anime gained popularity with series's like Gundam and Dragon Ball Z. However, Anime has never really gained mainstream acceptance, being mainly a niche pastime. I was introduced on one of my journeys to 4Chan (A site devoted to the "real" Internet dorks, mainly just a site devoted to joking, flame wars-online arguments, homophobia, mysogyny, Occasional uploaded pornography, and Anime-Note- adult anime is commonplace-research all anime before watching, you never know what you will get) i was introduced to anime. I was amazed by the zealotry of the fanbase in defending their favorite animes, and the love the fans seemed to have for Anime  (exemplified by Fan Art and Fan fictions, basically fan created media of a franchise. STAY AWAY. most are either extremly sexually explicit or are just horribly written.). Currently in anime there are the "Big Three", the three most popular anime, One Piece, Bleach, and Naruto. I was drawn to naruto mainly for its reputation as a good beginners anime. Detailing the adventures of a boisterous adolescent ninja named Naruto, what drew me in was the complex and unique abilities of the ninjas (who by the second season were basically wizards in funky clothes), unique and varied characters, and an initially interesting plot. Over the course of several months i greedily watched over 250 episodes of this show, and i eventually grew to hate it. across 250 episodes the plot slowed to a crawl, gone were smart strategys of old and replaced with an escalating arms race of  increasingly insane moves (What you can raise the dead? Summon a giant black Demon? Well check out my ability to change reality!!!!), and Naruto's desire to save his his Rival/friend Sasuke from evil had become dragged out to the point that one wondered if Naruto harbored homosexual feelings for Sasuke. Even the central message of "never giving up, to try hard despite not being born great" was replaced with the common trope of a destiny child. At this point I stopped watching as it became a chore to continue.

Thus i entered the cruel seas of the purgatory of common anime. For several months i attempted towatch other popular anime, but was repelled by the sheer volume of sappy "Harem Genre" and "School Days" anime. Harem genre is an honestly repulsive genre usually involving a single male weighing his options between multiple brainless, stereotypical girls who all happen to attracted to him (GRRR). You would not believe the sheer volume of this trash. School Days is just that- detailing the lives of japenese students in highschool (although, i did find one, FullMetal Panic Fummofu amusing). Occasionally they show romantic interactions between the characters, in some escalating to more serious relationhips (it is fairly tame...sometimes...SCHOOL DAYS!!!) but remember they are in Highschool!.That in my book is downright pedophilia. The one i watched was "School Days", honestly i knew already it was terrible but it since it was a subject of much ridicule and notoriety i watched it. It was terrible, morally deficient and with its satisfying ending. Ask me in person for more, math is required for this shows explanation. Several others were mindless Lolicons or Moe anime, another dark tumor in nerd culture, Lolicons are anime or manga depicting romance between "men" and "younger" woman-google it, while moe is an art style that makes every female and male seem to be about 8 years old. honestly after alternating between several of these poor excuses of Anime (some of them bordered on pornography) I began to notice a noticable abundance of """"""romance""""" anime, and i soon gave up. What bothered me was less the gratuitus rear and breast shots (as well the gravity defying breasts), but more about how woman in anime were just useless, oversexualised for no reason, and merely serve as love intrests for the men. honestly after several anime i could not remember a single heroine. Afterward i renounced anime as perverse....poop....and began watching Avatar the Last Airbender-An AMERICAN show.

That is until just a few months ago I finally emerged into the light, when a new anime caught my eye-FullMetal Alchemist : Brotherhood. Hailed as one of the best anime i decided to give it a try, hoping against hope that it would prove animes salvation. And truly i was not dissappointed. Detailing the adventures of two brothers, one whos soul is trapped in a suit of armor, the other without several limbs, Full metal Alchemist is the journey to regain both their bodies and their discovery of a nationwide conspiracy. In my opinion this was a great work of fiction- i no longer had to lower my standards for it for being an anime and i treated as an independant work. For anyone new to anime this is a perfect gateway drug. However i will say that although the message of the show was good, the ending was too....well i wont spoil. What followed was a renaissance, i discovered that the "popular" anime pandered to the uneducated masses of otaku, while the nuggets of gold in a sea of excrement went unnoticed. Personally Anime allowed me to respect and actually enjoy romance through "Spice and Wolf" a well crafted story showing a semi realistic long term relationship (semi because the girl is a centuries old spirit-note there is some nudity in the beginning but hey! she is a Centuries year old god....) that actually pulled at my still existing heartstrings. Finally Fate/Zero was a anime filled with some deep philisophical undertones and awesome action. In addition the ending was great, apart from the epilogue, Tragic. Now i have finally mellowed, able now to leave in the middle of a series rather than staying up until 5 AM to finish.In the end this journey through the depths of the internet helped me discover a bit of my repressed self, one that is aware of real social interactions, and truly desires some. As i stood atop the mound of adolescence and i gazed at the bright Fields of adulthood i realized that i too wield the dark curse of Sensitivity (what a twist!).

P.S

As a fellow lover of literature, i would like to reccomend Fullmetal alchemist Brotherhood. No doubt compared to most great works of fiction it is fairly mediocre, but it is extremly enjoyable. And plus it represents woman real well (Olivier Armstrong is awesome). No gravity defying breasts i promise.
http://cheezburger.com/7148162304 the steroetypical anime fan